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Monday, November 24, 2008

The Emotional Journey

My journey these days is often about being quiet, listening in the stillness, and becoming more and more aware of the emotions inside of me. And, sometimes I’m explosive and angry, or playful, and sometimes I am in the pure joy of the moment. A great friend once tried to explain to me that “emotions aren’t linear and will not be figured out…” It’s taken a while for that one to sink in. There is no such thing as a “bad” emotion. I celebrate anytime I feel anything- because it means I’m not severed off at the neck. It means I’m alive.

It’s interesting to me how many people struggle over feeling emotion- and especially feeling anger. We’re taught to be nice, and dutiful, and civil, and all the rest but not really taught how to be angry. And for those who work in ministry or other service the challenge is great- the challenge to find appropriate places and ways to explode and blow off steam. Over the years, I’ve taken to the batting cages as a physical expression of explosion. It’s pretty clean- no one gets hurt. It’s was a necessary starting point for me to connect with what was going on inside amidst all the chaos. Getting in touch with the anger inside and working it out was important to me- because it came out one way or another anyway. My goal now is to stay in touch with however I feel. If I’m down today, then I’ll feel down. If I’m up today, then I’ll feel up. Either way, my desire is to celebrate the moment, feel it, surrender it, and know that I won’t always feel this way.

What emotions do you allow in your life? What emotions do you avoid?