My back hurts. At this point in life, I would not have expected the script to read “moving into a leased condo…” At once I am frustrated that the place I was buying fell out of escrow after 6 months at the seller’s initiative… and sad that my “place” in life is not more settled. The script was supposed to read… “work your career, pay off your home, ride off into the sunset…” But sometimes the script doesn’t turn as I expect. My sense of place is all haywire. In the work I do, home is defined by the location of my toothbrush and IPod. My relationships are scattered across the globe. There is very little “grounding” my life.
So, what am I holding on to?
Well first I am holding onto a story of what life was supposed to be. I’ve always aimed at doing what I was supposed to do. Hmm. Maybe that’s an issue. Perhaps, we are meant to follow our desire, our bigger wants, our vision, our unique gifts… and not so much follow the path of “supposed to.” So, in a sense, this time might be about letting go of “supposed to” and embracing the more mature “want to.” Hmm.
Another is a story that “place” is grounding. Everyone tells me I need a base camp, a home, a man cave in order to be grounded and at peace. I’m beginning to think that maybe that’s their story and perhaps not mine. Maybe there is another story.
In any event, I’ve moved to a new town (10 miles from where I’ve lived for 25 years…not a big jump). Nice ocean view. 10-minute walk to a new coffee spot. Big garage. And, as my friend Michael McGinnis wrote… It’s All Good.
So, what story are you holding on to?