Thursday, January 31, 2013

Is it okay to push?

And then he said, "Sometimes I just want to call them out on their s**t, you know?  Isn't it okay to push a little?"

"So, whose s**t is it?" I asked.

"It's theirs!  I can see it!"

"Hmm. Some might say that we can only see what it is that we have... or think that we have.  Smarter people than I call those "projections".  We project what we inwardly believe to be true about ourselves on to others."

"That sucks."

"Well, maybe.  And it's pretty valuable. Because when I see something in someone else it's an opportunity to get curious about what I see and perhaps really want in my own life."

"You're doing it again.  You're "vince-ing" me."

"I'll take that as a compliment. And, when it comes to pushing... here's my thought.  Check in with yourself first.  Is the "push" coming from your own projection?  Your own fear?  Or is the "push" coming from your solution for their life?  If so, stop.  Take a breath."

"Okay.  I can see that."

"Great.  And then... when you're clear with yourself, consider "pushing" by asking a tough question.. one that invites a different perspective or a gut level response."

He paused.  "Someone stopped me in my tracks the other day with "what's stopping you from action?"  It helped me realize that there was nothing stopping me except myself."

"Exactly.  Sounds like the push you needed."