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Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Am I doing what I want to be doing?

Now, this is a loaded question.

Some would say that we only do what we want to do.  They would say we create our reality and so everything we do aligns with the reality we are creating.  And, all of our complaints and protestations aside, what we are doing is exactly what we want to be doing. 

Which begs the question, "How does it serve me to do what I do?"  At first, this is hard to get my head around.  "Serve me"?  That's what waiters do.  So, another way to ask the question might be, "How does doing this thing that I complain about help me avoid confronting or facing some part of myself that I might find bothersome, vulnerable, or distasteful?"  Ouch!

It's so much easier to just blame and complain.  To keep doing whatever it is I'm doing and play the victim, villain, or the hero and keep the racket going.  There's a million reasons why doing something else won't work, so why even try?  Or, if I don't do it no one else will so I just keep on keeping on.  It's my burden to carry.  Or, I'll show all of you how great I am by doing this thing that will prove to you how great I am!

Any way you slice it, every step I take is a choice.  No matter how I got here, no matter how messed up my world has been, the next step is a choice.  No doubt I can be bound to old beliefs and old stories and justify my circumstances, but I can also embrace my deeper desires and begin to take steps toward that desire.  But that means I have to get clear on my desire.  What it is I want.  And, that's when the work starts.

Onward!

V